LOL! That’s the only thing I can type, let alone say, after reading this delightful little piece envisioning a world in which AT&T ran the highways. You know, the real highways for cars, not the information super++ one. It’s really, really funny. Gems include:
• AT&T would make horn tones available for $3.99. No transfer of music from the car’s jukebox to its horn tone storage chip would be allowed.
• Driving beyond the coverage of AT&T’s highway network would incur roaming charges.
• The AT&T-approved Apple iCar would be limited to a top speed of 30 mph. Sales people in AT&T car showrooms would have no idea how the iCar operated.
• AT&T’s roads would feature fluctuating speed limits. In some cases, speed limit reductions would correspond to the traffic on the road; in others, the speed limit would just drop for no apparent reason. Posted speed limits would not correspond with actual ones.
• Many of AT&T’s roads would be made of dirt, despite tax credits AT&T received to pave its roads.
Um. We get it. You don’t like AT&T.
You know who he reminds me of? The Mark Russell parody guy from the Simpsons episode “Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington.” The deficit rag, oh yeah the deficit rag…
If AT&T Ran The Highway System… [Information Week]