Humor

  • Meat This New Tinder User

    Meat This New Tinder User

    Before we get too far into this, I want to be fully transparent and disclose up-front that this is weird and mostly irrelevant. Inexplicably, Vimeo user Marcello Gómez Maureira has created a video that shows a piece of meat power-right-swiping through Tinder. The title of the film? “Tender: It’s how people meat.” So, naturally, I love Marcello and this video. A few fun… Read More

  • Piper Pied

    Piper Pied Imitates HBO’s Silicon Valley And Creates Lossless Compression For Online Images

    Brother and sister team Peter Ma and Nancy Ghaly presented Piper Pied, a lossless compression algorithm for online images, at the Disrupt NY Hackathon today. The startup is a “creative spin” on Pied Piper, the startup with a similar lossless compression algorithm for everything that appears in HBO’s Silicon Valley, according to Ghaly. Read More

  • Carrot Weather Delivers Your Daily Forecast With A Side Of Snark

    Carrot Weather Delivers Your Daily Forecast With A Side Of Snark

    Carrot, the makers of a suite of sarcastic apps including a to-do list app that berates you for slacking and a weight loss app that shames you about your poor eating choices, has just introduced the latest addition to its lineup: a snarky weather application that delivers your daily forecast with a twist. Like its other apps, Carrot Weather features a talking bot with a ton of personality… Read More

  • Microsoft’s Keyboard Obsession

    Microsoft’s Keyboard Obsession

    Microsoft has a little problem and it’s time we all admitted it. We have to gather the family in the living room, sit down Microsoft in the comfy chair and have a little heart to heart. Everybody can see it, except Microsoft — and it could be time for an intervention. It’s the keyboard thing, Microsoft. Enough already. Design your software to take advantage of a touch screen. Read More

  • Kyle Russell on the Madness of TV

    4K TV Marketing At CES Is Depressingly Bad

    CES kind of feels like my own personal hell, in that it takes the coolest technology in the world and surrounds it with marketing gimmickry. I noticed this the most in the way companies were pitching their TVs, which you can’t help but look at because they’re all at eye-level and bursting with color. Read More

  • AuroraTek Energy Device

    AuroraTek Tried To Pitch Us A Gadget That Breaks The Laws Of Physics At CES

    AuroraTek CEO William Alek told me that the real star of the booth was a very special electrical transformer that could output more power than you put it. That goes against a fundamental law of physics. Read More

  • Wearables Have Gone Too Far

    Wearables Have Gone Too Far

    We’re hoping this is a prank of some sort. Is it already April 1st? Last month, the Peter Thiel-backed app for achieving your goals, Everest, shut down, following initial usability issues, lack of traction, and problems with its business model. Now one of the company’s co-founders has returned with a new project. Currently on Kickstarter, Victor Mathieux is promoting a… Read More

  • A Look Back At 2014

    A Look Back At 2014

    2014 was an amazing year in startup news. In fact, we wrote more than 13,000 articles here on TechCrunch. That’s why we are giving you a handy TL;DR guide to remind you of all the big news from the past year. Apple: We predict that large phones will be the next big thing. WhatsApp: Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of all the $$$$. Amazon: Remember that one time we built… Read More

  • Netflix Helps You Trick Kids Into Thinking Midnight Came Early With An On-Demand Countdown

    Netflix Helps You Trick Kids Into Thinking Midnight Came Early With An On-Demand Countdown

    Netflix, with a nod and wink to weary parents everywhere, has introduced a clever way to trick the kids into thinking New Year’s Eve came early. The service is offering a three-minute long countdown to the New Year featuring DreamWorks’ animated characters – King Julien and friends – which parents can call up any time they choose. The idea is to offer families a way… Read More

  • How To Speak User

    How To Speak User

    This article is an exercise in simultaneously mystifying and demystifying the lingua franca of digital life in order to encapsulate the chronically ironic state of being a user. A companion piece to How To Speak Startup. Read More

  • Our South Park, Ourselves

    Our South Park, Ourselves

    Last week’s episode of South Park was…very confusing. I’m still not sure if we were all inceptionized the entire time we’ve been watching the going on 18 seasons of the show, or if the ending was part of some weird dream or…really I have no idea what happened there. Spoiler alert – Stan ends up realizing he’s been stuck in virtual reality this whole… Read More

  • Apple Announces Too Many iPads

    Apple Announces Too Many iPads

    If you’re in the market to buy a new iPad, your choices just became dizzying. As expected, Apple announced new iPads this morning at its news conference in Cupertino, but it didn’t retire some of its older products to make way for the additions. How many iPad models can you choose from now? Five? And that’s not even counting the fact that each flavor comes with various… Read More

  • Microsoft Woos Enterprise With Start Button In Windows 10

    Microsoft Woos Enterprise With Start Button In Windows 10

    Microsoft announced Windows 10 the other day. Putting aside the fact they skipped version 9, and all of the jokes that could evoke, the announcement appeared to be one long apology to the enterprise. We’re sorry we dissed you in version 8 and we want to beg you to take us back. And we brought your favorite Start button. Remember, the one you’ve lived with and loved since 1995? Read More

  • Push For Pizza Is Yo For Food Delivery

    Push For Pizza Is Yo For Food Delivery

    While apps like Seamless and Postmates have made it easier than ever to order food with almost no hassle, sometimes having to look through options is just too much of a pain. With Push For Pizza, five teens from Brooklyn have created an app that makes it simpler still to get sustenance delivered to your door. Read More

  • How Will The TLC React To Whysk, Clickhole’s New Uber Competitor?

    How Will The TLC React To Whysk, Clickhole’s New Uber Competitor?

    Sometimes the key to making a good startup is modifying an existing idea with slight improvements. Whysk, a new transportation venture profiled in the video above, is iterating on the service provided by companies like Uber and Lyft, but with a smart twist that could give it an edge, or usher in the end of days through a dark pact with whatever forces its masked and hooded silent workforce serves. Read More

  • Epic Reddit Prank “Cat Facts” Is Now An App That Lets You Text Troll Your Friends

    Epic Reddit Prank “Cat Facts” Is Now An App That Lets You Text Troll Your Friends

    What do you get when you combine cats and epic-level trolling? Only one of the most popular Reddit posts of all time: the hilarious “Cat Facts” prank from Reddit user “frackyou” is the 8th most popular post on Reddit, and now, it’s a mobile app you can use to automate cat facts-style pranking on your unsuspecting friends. Cat Facts? What’s Cat Facts, you say? Read More

  • Conan O’Brien Has An Office Full Of Robots

    Conan O’Brien Has An Office Full Of Robots

    If you haven’t yet noticed, robots are kind of taking over the world. They’re writing quarterly earnings reports for the AP. They’re reportedly building the next iPhone. And, of course, they help run Conan O’Brien’s office. The late-night comedian explained that robots have been around in his office for quite some time, and that there are different robots for… Read More

  • #Love: My First Experience With Internet Porn

    #Love: My First Experience With Internet Porn

    Pornographic media has existed since the dawn of time, but it has never been as widely available and accessible as it is today. That’s largely due to the internet, which provides a launch pad for our curiosity no matter the topic. But with sex, a topic relatively more private and intimate, the internet can serve as an important resource for sexual exploration, understanding, and yes… Read More

  • Google Shames Apple’s iOS For Adding What Android Did Years Ago

    Google Shames Apple’s iOS For Adding What Android Did Years Ago

    Apple’s Tim Cook insulted Google at WWDC earlier this month saying “Android dominates the market in malware”, and quoted an article calling the fragmented open operating system a “toxic hellstew of vulnerabilities.” Well Google punched back this morning at its I/O conference when Sundar Pichai put up a slide showing Android’s progress over the years… Read More

  • Yo? No.

    Yo? No.

    Growing up – and excuse me for dating myself here a bit – kids were into Swatch watches, jean jackets, stirrup pants, and jelly bracelets. My sister grew up collecting something called “pogs,” which I never understood. Today, kids are more technically oriented. They obsess over iPad-connected toys like Furby, and the never-ending game that is Minecraft. They also like… Read More