WTF

  • WTF
    Ballmer To Purge His Sportsball Team Of Those Evil Apple Things

    Ballmer To Purge His Sportsball Team Of Those Evil Apple Things

    Steve Ballmer, former CEO of Microsoft, and new owner of some sort of sports team, is still pretty serious about hardware. In an interview with Reuters, Ballmer indicated that his team, the one he paid $2 billion for, won’t use Apple tech. Nope. It’s Microsoft all the way down. Read More

  • WTF
    Jack Dorsey’s Advertising Agency Couldn’t Make A More Pretentious Website If It Tried

    Jack Dorsey’s Advertising Agency Couldn’t Make A More Pretentious Website If It Tried

    Quid had a good run, but it looks like we have a new champion in the endless battle to have the most pretentious startup website. West, an advertising agency founded by former Apple exec Allison Johnson in 2011 with backing from Jack Dorsey and Ray Chambers, has managed to claim that spot with a site that offers absolutely no information about who works there or what kinds of services they offer. Read More

  • Google’s Skybox Satellites Shoot GIFs Of Burning Man Being Built

    Google’s Skybox Satellites Shoot GIFs Of Burning Man Being Built

    Google bought Skybox Imaging for $500 million, and the micro-satellite company’s most recent mission was…to take photos of Burning Man. Skybox repeatedly flew its satellites over Burning Man to create GIFs of how the 70,000 person make-shift hippie city was assembled and then deconstructed over three weeks. For example, above you’ll see the whole city rise and fall, and… Read More

  • Twitter’s CEO Will Respond To Whether He’s High Once He Finishes These Doritos

    Twitter’s CEO Will Respond To Whether He’s High Once He Finishes These Doritos

    Peter Thiel thinks Twitter is more 420 than 140-characters. In a CNBC interview today, the famous Facebook investor bashed its competitor saying “Twitter is hard to evaluate. They have a lot of potential. It’s a horribly mismanaged company—probably a lot of pot-smoking going on there.” And when Twitter employee Jason Goldman ribbed Twitter CEO and former improv… Read More

  • Hey Microsoft, Acquiring A Hit Game Is Stupid

    Hey Microsoft, Acquiring A Hit Game Is Stupid

    Buying a game company is like buying an aging baseball player. You’ll need a miracle to get another hit. And while they might have plenty of fans, they probably aren’t making a lot of new ones. Mojang hit a grand slam home run with Minecraft, but that doesn’t mean Microsoft should pay $2.5 billion for it, as it’s reportedly going to announce this week. There’s… Read More

  • WTF
    Someone 3D Printed A Castle In His Backyard And It’s Awesome

    Someone 3D Printed A Castle In His Backyard And It’s Awesome

    I now know what I want for my birthday. Using customized 3D printing technology, Andrey Rudenko printed a castle in his backyard. It took him two years from conception to completion. The result is incredible: Better than that image is a clip from his website, showing how the construction process worked: According to Rudenko, building the castle with concrete had some unique issues. Rudenko… Read More

  • Someone Keeps Sending Us Fake Tips About Path

    Someone Keeps Sending Us Fake Tips About Path

    Someone very desperately wants TechCrunch to write about Path. Over the past few weeks, we’ve received over half a dozen tips about layoffs, visitors from China in the office, an Alibaba “partnership,” potential acquirers and more. The funny thing is, none of these things seem to be true. For starters, the company outright denies it – on the record. Other sources… Read More

  • The noPhone, Because Smartphone Separation Anxiety Is Real

    The noPhone, Because Smartphone Separation Anxiety Is Real

    The other day, as I sat on the couch with a dead iPhone resting on my belly, I found myself wondering why my phone is constantly out of battery. And I had a revelation: I’d rather have a dead phone within reach than be even a few feet away from it as it charges across the room. It’s pathetic, I know, but absolutely true. Enter the noPhone. Read More

  • This Real-Time Projected CGI Makeup Is Beautiful And Terrifying

    This Real-Time Projected CGI Makeup Is Beautiful And Terrifying

    CGI has come a long way – from simulating Jar Jar Binks on the silver screen to replacing green screens with King’s Landing. Today, we should add this video to the progression. Producer and technical director Nobumichi Asai has used a projection technology called Omote to project makeup onto a live model’s face. Read More

  • Yo Guys, Postmates Built BurritoCannon For Me

    Yo Guys, Postmates Built BurritoCannon For Me

    BurritoCannon is real, and you can use it. At least for the next few hours. Hella. After I published my truly revolutionary post yesterday calling for a new burrito-delivery service that I tentatively named BurritoCannon, I trotted over to Postmates’ digs after its CEO Bastian Lehmann asked if I could drop by. Our offices are next door, so I slipped over to say what for. Read More

  • WTF
    Microsoft’s CEO Dares Google, Amazon Execs In Ice Bucket Challenge

    Microsoft’s CEO Dares Google, Amazon Execs In Ice Bucket Challenge

    The current meme of dumping really cold water on your head to raise awareness for ALS is spreading quickly. Today, Microsoft’s CEO Satya Nadella allowed the winning team from his company’s internal hackathon to pour a large amount of chilly dihydrogen monoxide onto his expecting pate. Read More

  • WeedMaps Partners With Uber So You Don’t 420BlazeIt And Drive

    WeedMaps Partners With Uber So You Don’t 420BlazeIt And Drive

    Dude, where’s my car? Back in the garage because you took an Uber rather than driving high. At least that’s the idea behind leading “Yelp for marijuana” service WeedMaps and Colorado pot shop The Clinic partnering with Uber. Each time a new rider enters the promo code “clinicms”, Uber will donate $5 to multiple sclerosis research though the end of year. Read More

  • OnePlus Uses A Sexist Contest To Sell Its New Phone

    OnePlus Uses A Sexist Contest To Sell Its New Phone

    In this week’s episode of totally batshit crazy things some brands do to get attention, OnePlus (the maker of a new smartphone called The One) is kindly offering a bump on the waiting list for women who are willing to enter the equivalent of an online beauty contest. Because I literally can’t bring myself to describe a contest that is so demeaning towards women and generally… Read More

  • WTF
    Kickstarter Serves Up Potato Salad By The Numbers

    Kickstarter Serves Up Potato Salad By The Numbers

    The now famous potato salad Kickstarter project closed this weekend with a total of $55,492 from 6,911 backers. Kickstarter crunched the campaign numbers in a blog post today and found the majority of those backers came from California or Columbus, Ohio (both at just over 17 percent). Read More

  • Your Long Wait For TechCrunch-Branded Paper Cups Is Over

    Your Long Wait For TechCrunch-Branded Paper Cups Is Over

    A parent company isn’t all that different from a real parent. They feed you, and give you money. They give you advice (sometimes more strictly than others). And, yes, they embarrass you. Speaking of, today our proud parent company Aol, with vast experience in the retail, online retail, online business, has launched an online storefront for its brands, including TechCrunch. Welcome… Read More

  • Conan O’Brien Has An Office Full Of Robots

    Conan O’Brien Has An Office Full Of Robots

    If you haven’t yet noticed, robots are kind of taking over the world. They’re writing quarterly earnings reports for the AP. They’re reportedly building the next iPhone. And, of course, they help run Conan O’Brien’s office. The late-night comedian explained that robots have been around in his office for quite some time, and that there are different robots for… Read More

  • This Temporary Tattoo Can Unlock Your Phone

    This Temporary Tattoo Can Unlock Your Phone

    I’d think this was just a clever April Fools joke, if it wasn’t the middle of July. Motorola and VivaLnk have made a temporary tattoo that can unlock a smartphone, no PIN required. Slap it on your skin, hold your phone up to it, and bam — phone unlocked. Who needs gestural passwords or face recognition when you can unlock your phone like a time traveling space wizard? Read More

  • New Airbnb Logo Wants You To Draw It Like One Of Your French Logos

    New Airbnb Logo Wants You To Draw It Like One Of Your French Logos

    In a real life scene that could be in HBO’s ‘Silicon Valley,’ Airbnb unveiled a very sexually connotative logo today: Bélo. Apparently no one in on the design process asked themselves, in this guy’s parlance, “Does this logo look like a boobs and a butt and a hooha?” Per Armin Vit’s post, “The answer has to be a resounding “No”. If… Read More

  • WTF
    Product Guy Tries To Cancel Comcast Service, Hilarity Ensues

    Product Guy Tries To Cancel Comcast Service, Hilarity Ensues

    If there’s one guy in the world who knows whether or not he wants to cancel his Comcast service, it’s Ryan Block. The former head of Engadget, founder of GDGT, and now product dude at AOL, Block probably knows exactly why he wants to cancel his Comcast service and, presumably, he’s not going to tell you or a Comcast service rep who refuses to take “No” for an answer. Read More

  • WTF
    What Should YC’s Sam Altman Do With These Bizarre Conway, Paul Graham Oil Paintings?

    What Should YC’s Sam Altman Do With These Bizarre Conway, Paul Graham Oil Paintings?

    The Conway painting was apparently a gift from Steve Jobs’ wife Laurene Powell Jobs and a YC applicant sent in the one of Paul Graham, according to Altman. I would say auction them off for charity. TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington once coveted the Conway painting, calling it “an epic painting of the man.” Read More