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Today In Dystopian War Robots That Will Harvest Us For Our Organs

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You’re in luck today, true believers! We have four exciting robots that will eventually enslave and/or eat us. Each one is more beautiful than the last, thereby allowing us to be lulled into a false sense of calm while these robots slowly dismantle our society, or morals, and eventually our organic matter.

First up is the Stingray 500 drone, a quad-rotor air machine with some surprising features. The Stingray has corrective pitch programming that keeps it from flipping all over the place while you fly it. A central motor controls all four rotors and it uses a unique flight controller that keeps it upright and can even help it land without power. While the standard quadcopter design is just fine, I think this coupled with a flame thrower will really heat things up when the robots force us into relocation camps in the American hinterland.

How about this exciting video of things to come? Created by Alex Cornell, this dystopian video shows us what will happen when the robots get too smart for their own good and start to interact with angry humans. The robots will surely die the first few times… and then they’ll stop dying.

Next we have the Valkyrie “superhero” robot. This robot will help NASA conquer space and may even become the robot that conquers us. NASA scientist Nicolaus Radford offers a tour of the new robot and I certainly hope he has endeared himself to the the robots enough to, perhaps, in the end become their human collaborator.

Finally we present a video from Double Robotics that shows us the future of meetings, art appreciation, and dating. Why is it special? Our own Samantha O’Keefe is working with the robots to reduce the amount of time we have to spend in art galleries! It’s OK, Sam, we understand: it only makes sense to work with our future masters because maybe you’ll get an extra protein ration when they finally take down all world religions and governments! Until next time, humans, keep your powder dry.

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