The Bill Gates-Inspired Galactic Cap Will Protect Your Wang-Dang-Doodle

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As TechCrunch’s resident sex weirdo, I figured I might as well cover the Galactic Cap, a mini-condom that adheres the tip of the Fair Pink Vicar and allows you to visit Ye Olde Shoppe Of Curiosities without fear of issue. The project went live today on Indiegogo.

How does it work? Well, it’s a two-part process. An adhesive goes onto the the tip of the woozler and can be applied hours or even days earlier. When you’re ready to visit Christmas Island you take out a little tip, peel of some adhesive, and slap it on the old Jolly Todger. The cap stays put, the lad and lass get to enjoy a bit of the skin on skin and the there is no danger of pregnancy.

But why not regular condoms, you ask? And what about STDS?

“Regular condoms are uncomfortable, difficult to apply and they take the pleasure out of sex. Their failure rate is high (15-18 percent) and their usage rate is low. Only 5 percent of men in the world wear a condom – 17-20 percent in developed countries,” said the creator, Charles Powell.

“Healthy skin is a barrier to infection. However, if a man has a sore or an abrasion he should by all means use a traditional condom,” he said. “We feel the Galactic Cap will increase condom use because it’s more sexually satisfying. And we believe increased use will drive down HIV and STD rates.”

The goal is to raise funds for clinical trial through Indiegogo. Powell is also giving out prototype condoms for a $100, a tough sell when jimmie hats are a few dollars a box. However, he hopes this will make people rethink sliding a regular condom onto their Thin White Duke and instead take a ride on the Galactic Train to Pleasantville.

What does Bill Gates have to with this? The creator, Charles Powell, noticed that all of the grants awarded by the Gates Foundation for future condom creations went to wiener gloves that covered the entire penis. Powell thought he could do better.

“What have we got to lose when more than 80 percent of men don’t use anything? What good does it do to have the perfect condom if no one is using it? We want to put more choice in the marketplace,” said Powell.