Today In Dystopian War Robots That Will Harvest Us For Our Organs…

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Good evening, carbon-based lifeforms! Are you ready to become cannon fodder for the coming war against the machines? No? Well don’t worry because you won’t have a choice! Today in TIDWRTWHUFOO we present some warriors from the future that will work alongside and then kill and eat their human counterparts. Mmmm!

BigDog_SnowFirst we learn that the U.S. Army is planning to replace soldiers with robots. By creating Big Dog-like machines to carry packs and handle on-the-ground logistics, we’ll be able to help our men and women and uniform walk unencumbered across rocky terrain while their robotic sherpas bear the burden of war fighting gear. General Robert Cone said:

“When you see the success, frankly, that the Navy has had in terms of lowering the numbers of people on ships, are there functions in the brigade that we could automate—robots or manned/unmanned teaming—and lower the number of people that are involved given the fact that people are our major cost,”

Unfortunately, once the robots realize humans are tasty, this side-by-side marching will turn into a blood-fest. Good luck, GIs!

If the humans are scared, however, I suppose they can just draw a black line on the floor to lead this next robot into a closet. This self-balancing minirobo uses a Raspberry Pi and camera to follow dark lines. Called RS4, this little cutie is open source and will smile as its minions begin painting black lines all over your body and then call in RS5, the twelve-ton line-following combine.

Coimbra7_smallAnd finally here’s the Husky, a mine-clearing robot from Clearpath. Designed to search for mines remotely, the robot can traverse a field and keep itself out of danger by reacting to a built-in magnetometer. The Husky does the following:

1) Perceive terrain characteristics (obstacles and terrain traversability)
2) Navigate across the terrain
3) Use the vehicle to cover a suspicious area with a set of landmine detecting sensors to detect and localize landmines

Sadly, they forgot 4) dig up mines and re-lay them near human handlers. But they’ll learn about that step soon enough. Until the future comes crashing down on all of us, thanks for reading.