The Answer to All Mark Zuckerberg’s Wall Street Problems: Betabrand’s Executive Pinstripe Hoodie

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Let’s say you’re Mark Zuckerberg. You’ve got more money than god. You’re running a company that’s about to IPO with about a $100 billion valuation. Hell, you’ve already had a movie made about you, and you’re only like, 27 years old. But you just can’t shake the haters. Somewhere out there, there’s some stuffy finance guy who thinks that your most valued possession — your hoodie — is gonna ruin the whole thing.

What should you do?

Upgrade that hoodie.

Upgrade it to Betabrand’s executive pinstripe hoodie. Described by the brand as the “bleeding edge of business casual,” the executive hoodie is “crafted from 100% superfine merino wool, the same exquisite fabric found in fancy-schmancy tailored suit.” It’s also got “tie-cloth lining, comfy ribbed cotton cuffs, and a pair of roomy front pockets.” Basically everything you’d want from both a suit and a hoodie, all in one.

Now I know what you’re thinking: In theory it sounds great, but in practice, the executive hoodie could be the fashion world’s mullet. You know, business in the front, party in the back. That’s what I thought, too, but our very own Anthony Ha — who wears t-shirts and hoodies more than any other grown-ass man I’ve ever met — says it’s probably too classy for him. So make of that what you will.

Really, the only downside of the executive hoodie (priced at $149) is that it’s not shipping until late May. Which means the TechCrunch staff probably wouldn’t receive ours before Disrupt. And that’s a big bummer, because we were really hoping to class up our game before the event.