“It gives you social energy. It gives you taste of friendship.” It’s Facedrink! And you better go buy some because it will be sued out of existence any minute now. Following in the footsteps of the unofficial Mark Zuckerberg action figure, some dude named Barry Moustapha (ROFLCOPTER) has created a lawyer-magnet energy drink. It’s themed with Facebook colors and proudly displays an “Add as Friend” button on the label. I’d be suspicious this was a hoax, but there’s a photo of a real bottle and reviewers confirm it leave a worse taste in your mouth than getting Poked by your dad.
The gloriously named Barry Moustapha trumpets “Facedrink achieves the goal that I set out for by providing you with the extra energy needed to be social or to deal with your boss.” Reviewers on Amazon seem to disagree, though:
“All my friends drank it up, and it starting to feel odd being the only person in line (besides my friend Tom) who was buying MyDrink anymore…Over time, I think I got too comfortable with it. I started drinking it with my parents, my boss, people I hadn’t seen since high school. Being too casual with FaceDrink eventually lead me to make some comments regarding my cousin possibly being gay, and my boss being a dick and since then I’ve cut back on who I drink it with. I should just quit it all together, but I might have a mild addiction at this point.”
Facedrink will make a great holiday gift, and an even better collectors item as there’s no way Moustapha’s getting away with this. Facebook successfully trademarked the word “face” specifically to prevent this kind of exploitation of its name. But I think there might be an amicable way to settle this. Facebook, acquire Facedrink, and promptly move their operations into the cafeteria of your swanky new Menlo Park headquarters.
After all, “Whether it is work, school, sports or just getting through the daily routine, Facedrink provides you with a boost of energy to manage it all.”