NSFW – The Song: No, Seriously This One Really Is Not Safe For Work [NSFW]

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Gillmor Gang 01.08.11 (TCTV)

Well, this is several types of amazing.

Way back in 2009, I received an email from an Argentinan lawyer-turned-singer/songwriter by the name of BluBlú. She’s a big TechCrunch fan, she explained, and was considering writing a song based on my Not Safe For Work columns. Would I mind?

Of course I wouldn’t mind. After all, MG has a song, so why shouldn’t I? That said,  I wasn’t actually expecting there to ever be a song. I get a lot of crazy emails.

Oh me of little faith.

This week, almost two years after her original request, BluBlú emailed again. The song was finished! And, you know what? It’s slightly brilliant: my ridiculous rants against social media, my constant firings and even my love-hate relationship with Counting Crows – all turned into something resembling a coherent narrative, set to a haunting tune which has since become stuck in my head. There’s a pretty intense guitar solo in the middle too.

And then I watched the video.

And, well, just wow. Let’s just say, if you’ve ever found yourself reading one of these columns and wondering “why is this not safe for work?”, this video is your answer. To be absolutely clear, unless your employer is cool with naked girls covered in very small amounts of body paint, this video is Not Safe For Work.

If you’re interested, BluBlú has kindly provided the lyrics (posted below), all linked up to the original posts from which they came. You can listen to more BluBlú here.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what brought an Argentinian singer to TechCrunch in the first place, BluBlú explains: “I had a crush on Michael… girly, I know.” 

All the way from Argentina. Oh, the Internet.

Not Safe For Work
by BluBlú

I’ll crash and burn at high speed

This is a battle I will win

Cherchez la fame, follow the game

Keep sleeping through the rain

I want to whet your appetite

The good stuff in CEO cards

3 million bucks, 2 girls

1 cup of groupie tales

A case of wine won’t be enough this time

I’m dry

A hack to the future is my only chance


Not safe for work

Not safe for life

Why is this news, again?

It’s always been out there

Not safe for love

I’ll break our hearts

You better run fast, babe

before you leave me, babe

Please save me from my dark side


A passion that’s romantic pride

And they squeak loud when I bite

Someday I’ll be over counting crows

But for now I’ll avoid profound

The long fail might be over

I’ll be a star, inshallah

Who is the slut? I am the slut

A scarlet letter man

A case of wine won’t be enough this time

I’m dry

A hack to the future is my only chance
Not safe for work

Not safe for life

Why is this news, again?

It’s always been out there.

Not safe for love

I’ll break our hearts

You better run fast, babe

Before you leave me, babe

Please save me from my dark side

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