Raise your hand if you watched the Spike TV video game awards on Saturday. There were a few noteworthy developments to come out of the program, but the biggest feeling I got out of it was, man, this is not what I envision when I think about games. At one point, one of the guys on stage said something along the lines of, “Heh, my GamerTag is ChokeNutz.” A grown man actually said that! That’s not even detached-hipster funny. No, it’s simply trash-on-wheels.
Two reasonably big games debuted on the program, Mass Effect 3 and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.
Here’s the Mass Effect 3 trailer:
If we’re to believe the recent leak, then here’s the game’s main storyline:
Earth is burning. Striking from beyond known space, a race of terrifying machines have begun their destruction of the human race. As Commander Shepard, an Alliance Marine, your only hope for saving mankind is to rally the civilizations of the galaxy and launch one final mission to take back the Earth.
Sounds pretty identical to other BioWare games, no? Let’s try Dragon Age: Origins (swiped from RPG Codex):
Ferelden is burning. Striking from underground, a race of terrifying orc-people have begun their destruction of the human race. As Nameless Hero, a Grey Warden, your only hope for saving mankind is to rally the civilizations of Ferelden and launch one final mission to take back their land.
Never mind that Mass Effect 2 was much the same, running around from planet to planet rallying people to help save the galaxy.
But, I’m sure it’ll be an OK shooter. It should be here in time for the holidays next year.
As for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim,
which, as I understand it, will use the same engine (Gamebryo) that powers Obvlivion, Fallout 3, and Fallout: New Vegas. That’s great news if you like dealing with glitches and looking at fairly robotic animation. it’ll use a new engine, thank God. Gamebryo has lived a long enough life, but it’s time to move on. It has a release date, too: November, 11, 2011 aka 11/11/11. The marketing surrounding that date will be nauseating. Anyhow, here’s the trailer:
“And when the truth finally dawns, it dawns in fire.”
I don’t even know what that means, but whatever. It’s good to laugh.
As for the awards themselves, well, how could you possibly care? This show is basically an excuse to play debut trailers on basic cable television. Red Dead Redemption won game of the year, but believe me: don’t beat yourself up if your favorite game didn’t win. It’s not even worth the effort.