Scientist: Don't bother going green because there's nothing we can do to save the planet

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Well, I hate to be the one to break this news to y’all, but here we are. You know the “green” movement, where companies try to say things like, “Oh, our products are more safe for the environment than our competitors’ products”? I don’t want to say it’s complete nonsense, but the scientist who devised the Gaia theory—our planet is an organism, and we should do our best to ensure its survival—has just said that there’s no chance in hell that we’re going to save the planet. His advice? “Enjoy life while you can.” So, so amazing.

The scientist, Professor James Lovelock, told a UK news program that he now believes whatever damage human beings have done to the planet throughout history, from the very first day that Man stood upright and began to fan out from Africa to today’s UEFA Champions League quarter-final in London between Arsenal and Barcelona, cannot be undone by buying green USB drives. We can sit here and try to come clever little ways to save the planet—water bottle that use 8 percent less plastic than previous bottles, laptops that use less harmful metals, you name it—but the damage has been done.

The best we can do now is hope that Earth is as dynamic as we think it is, and that it can take care of itself in spite of all the damage we’ve done to it.

That does mean, of course, the “green” movement is complete a waste of everybody’s time.

Lovelock also brings up the topic of climate change: just forget it. The planet has a mind of its own, so to speak, so it could be freezing this winter and incredibly hot this summer, and the next year we’ll have a warm winter and cool summer. We have no idea how this planet works, other than the fact that we’re now realizing there’s very little we can to do affect it in any meaningful manner.

In other words, just follow Lovelock’s advice: live your life, enjoy it while you can, and don’t necessarily go out of the way to find green products. Don’t all rush to buy Hummers (yes, I know they shut down), but don’t your Prius will prevent what was put in motion long before you were even born.

It’s hopeless, which is awesome.

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