Destined to become a local news hit this week (“Next, something you don’t know about hotel room doors could shock your… or get you killed. But now, sports!”), this video of a portly, if happy, man named Barry Wels unlocking a hotel room with what amounts to a weird slim jim is just outrageous enough to scare most of America for at least two news cycles. Appearing on Black Bag, the trick involves moving a long piece of wire under and up along a door to pop the door handle. You could feasibly do this with a wire hanger, were it long enough, and as you notice it’s loud as heck when he slides in and tries to grab the handle.

No system is foolproof, friends. Every lock can be broken. Unless you’re a Hamas leader or an international drug dealer, however, the chances of this ever happening to you are slim to none.