Shake-n-Chop: Release yourself from the suffering of SlapChop

The Buddha said that life is suffering and that the goal of right meditation is the easement of this suffering. That is why we have the Shake-n-Chop. This is a tube that you put food in and then shake up and down in a masturbatory motion, thereby rendering the food into the state of “chopped.”

Unlike the SlapChop, the Shake-n-Chop does not cause pain. Instead, it causes kitchen enlightenment. It is not available for purchase and the website was made by a twelve year old on summer vacation but it is clear that the Shake-n-Chop has a great future ahead of it in the manufacture of what appear to be maggots out of any prime organic material.