Why yes, Mr. Obama, just sign here and we’ll do a the work over at the Watergate for you. Here, take my pen. No, it’s fine. It’s imported. Yes, it’s from China. Our good friends in China.

Would you like to keep it? Feel free. No, it doesn’t contain a 640×480 pixel camera to record video at 30 fps. No, it didn’t cost $14 online. No, no microphone. Don’t worry about that. Just sign here and we can move on from here.

Oh that? That’s a robot that we use to spy on Presidents. Just ignore it.