I wrote this up a few years ago but I thought it might be fun to bring it back for our Gift Guide. These things are massive. A friend of mine was wearing one out in the city with me and someone asked him the time. He checked his watch and bust out laughing because it’s like wearing Flava Flav’s watch on your wrist. Not quite a gag gift but close. There’s a product page at the end of the review and you can find them on EBay as well.

Captain’s Log – 0600 hours – Baltic Sea – My men and I have surfaced near Gdansk where we stopped for McDonald’s Hamburgers (made with imperialist swine) and some Polish beer. We are testing our Zlatoust diving watches (AKA the CCCP diver) made at the Zlatoust factory in our glorious Russian homeland.

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