Wouldn’t it be so totally funny to be like “Hi, mom, yeah, we’re just studying. I’ll be back at 9 o’clock.” and your mom would be like “Are you drunk?” and you’d be like “Noooo!” and the funny thing is you would be drunk and you’d be calling home on your buddy’s dad’s beer-bottle phone complete with last number redial and you’d be totally cracking up because of the irony of being drunk and talking on a beer-bottle phone and then like ten years later when you get your first job at some tax office in Mississippi as a consultant and you spend your entire day keying in tax return information because your company’s OCR solution completely screwed up your client’s tax season and the entire company is about to get sued by the freaking State of Mississippi Tax Office and you and a bunch of entry level guys go out after work for beers and you realize that the beers will never taste the same as they did on that stupid day you called your mom drunk on a beer-bottle phone, that they’ll never be as revolutionary or even taste quite the same.

$11.99. The website says “It will be a surprised present to your friends.” I’ll say.

Thanks, Jenny!