As if wearable MP3 players we’re dorky enough, the Newman Cool Man takes the cake. You’re apparently supposed to attach this to your German army jacket next to your Obama and Black Flag pin and then wander the streets of Olympia, Washington asking for spare change like our own Matt Hickey. Here’s a press release transmuted from Chinese, but don’t bother trying to figure out what’s going on here.

Heck. I thought this thing was all about salad dressing.

via AOL