Do you own a man-stopping Taser? According to today’s New York Times magazine—where’d I put my elitist latte and copy of Harper’s Bazaar?—more and more consumers are buying Tasers, especially the recently released C2 model. Available in a variety of colors, including a leopard skin print (tacky?), the consumer-level Taser does just enough to knock out any would-be attacker named John Biggs.

Oh, and “Tupperware parties for the Taser” are now fashionable. That’s good, encourage violence left and right. That’s the basis of a healthy society.

That’s the gist of the article; the rest is basically, “Wow Taser, you’re so awesome. What’s it like being so awesome?”