With every major tournament or cup competition, football (soccer) manufacturers roll out “advanced” balls that promise you the stars in order to get you to buy a replica. England’s FA Cup will be awarded on Saturday, and the likes of James, Kranjcar, and Fowler (injured?) will kick about Umbro’s Dynamis. Unlike most balls, which has 32 panels (those little square-y things on the surface), Dynamis only has 20, which reduces unwanted curve, thereby increasing speed.

The Dynamis, that darling, is made of Teijin fibers. Softer, more elastic, yada yada yada.

I much prefer the design Europass Gloria. With any luck, I’ll be somewhere in Europe starting riots with fellow hooligans during the Euro.