Video: Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" is geeky, but dumb

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Where does a video like this come from? I’m sure it went down like this.

Steve: Guys, we need an idea for Mariah’s next video.

Mike: I’ve got it! We dress her up in sexy clothes, maybe in a nightclub, and she dances, we’ll get some guest dancers.

Dave: Sure!

Mike: Nope, we have to do better than that.

Ward: I got it. Ok, Mariah’s at home, lounging in a robe, and a Geek Squad–

Steve: We can’t use Geek Squad. Mike, can you get us some bagels?

Ward: OK, Compu Nerd or something. Anyway, this nerdy guy comes to fix her computer. Song starts, she’s walking with him in her underwear–

Mike: Why would she just be in her underwear?

Ward: It’s Mariah, OK? Anyway. Then she leads him to the problem computer and he gets to work, while she disrobes. And then–

Dave: I think I’ve seen this in porno. Do we have any cream cheese?

Ward: Shut UP, Dave. Then he starts having these geek fantasies where its him and Mariah in all these nerdy settings! He’s a D&D king, they play Lazertag in a Barbarella-style set–

Steve: I like it. Genius. Can we add a unicorn?

Ward: Of course.

Mike: Who wants more coffee?

Steve: Perfect. This fits just right for the song.

Dave: What song are we doing next?

Steve: “Touch my Body”.

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