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The Back Burner: Things we didn't post this week

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Control Someone's Behavior for an Hour with Mod My Life

A big thank you to everybody for filling our tips at crunchgear dot com inbox with wonderful, unique, and newsworthy items. Here are five that we just couldn’t get to this week.

Subject: Looking for an apartment in Tel-aviv

Me and my wife are looking for an apartment 2-2.5 rooms, in the centre area of Tel-aviv for one year. The apartment should be clean and at least in a very good condition.

We are ready to pay around 650$. Please let us know if you have it and send all details by e-mail by clicking here

P.S. We need to find it till 17 Dec

To unsubscribe to this email please click here


CG Responds:

Oh man, you’re gonna LOVE Tel-Aviv! How did you find out about us? Was it on Tel Aviv Craigslist? We regret to inform you that we just rented out our last apartment and it wouldn’t have suited you anyway, being that it’s a 2.25-room apartment in Eastern Tel-Aviv, which is where all the college kids hang out and make noise all the time. It’s fun for, like, one night right when you get to town but it gets really old every night after that, especially in the summer time.

Thanks for the unsubscribe option! I haven’t seen that before.


Subject: Hi Its Jessica

Hi, sweetie,

First off, I am real, lol and i am a cam girl,,,I would love for you to check out my site,,, I promise its free and I have all my naughty pics there,,,,,  heres the link http://www.cheatedonmyspace.com ; Hope to heare from you..

Love Jess

CG Responds:

Jess, hey. How are things, LOL?! I am a key boy. I am real too. Real into you. Your reckless use of commas really gets my blood boiling in all the right places.

Hey listen, what’d I tell you about e-mailing me at work? I said not to do that, right? I could have sworn that "Hey, please don’t e-mail me at the CrunchGear tips address" meant that I didn’t want you to send me messages at the CrunchGear tips address. I dunno, maybe I’m out of line here but I don’t think I could have made it any clearer that I wanted you to call or text my Tracfone instead of e-mailing me at work.

Anyway, do you need a ride to the airport for the Doctors Without Borders trip or should I just meet you there?


Subject: hello customer

hello customer

My name is james and i wanted to know that if u do carry toilet seat in stock and if u do let me know the price of one toilet seat and also let me know if u accepted credit card as a payment.Im in Chicago right now doing some bussiness there.Thank u.

MR JAMES

CG Responds:

We don’t sell toilet seats as a gadget blog but I’ll be more than happy to personally sell you my toilet seat for $50. It’s a real piece of work (and not in a good way, ROFL). You should get a load of the attitude on this thing. It’s one of the most arrogant, pompous toilet seats ever. I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, "Hey, MR JAMES, how could a toilet seat have such a personality?"

But it’s true. This thing is a real monster. It reminds me of that movie Problem Child. Do you remember that movie? It was a John Ritter vehicle. Really, really funny. So yeah, the toilet seat is garbage. It’s all yours if you want it, though.


Subject: please

to who this may concern,

i think this is the greatest thing ever my fiance is goin to school for her p.h.d and works two jobs this would be a perfect thing for her.Please if possible i would like to know how to get one..

You can contact me at (914) 787-[redacted] or email [redacted]@aol.com..

all the best,

frank a. fanelli

CG Responds:

Frank, believe it. I don’t know what you’re referring to but it’s the best for sure. That’s crazy that your lady has two jobs and is going to school to be a doctor. What the hell do you do all day?! LMAO! J/K, all the way. I’ll tell you how to get one but it’d be easier for you to have your fiancee go get it because she’s already working two jobs and going to school full time so what’s one more errand, am I right?! LOL! Skate straight.


Subject: Good News

Attn:Sir/ma,

How are you today and hope all is well with you and family?You may not understand why this mail came to you,but i will implore you to take your time to carefully go through this mail.

We have been having a meeting for the pass 7 months which ended 4 days ago at our office head quarters New York(UNITED NATIONS).

This email is to all the people that feel they have been scammed in any part of the world,the UNITED NATION have agreed to compensate them with the sum of US$
150,000.This includes every foriegn contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government probelms etc.

We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you,this have been agreed upon and has been signed. You are advised to contact Mr. Jim Ovia of ZENITH BANK NIGERIA PLC, as he is our representative in Nigeria, contact him immediately for your Cheque/International Bank Draft of USD$ 150,000. This funds are in a Bank Draft
for security purpose ok? so he will send it to you and you can clear it in any bank of your choice.

Therefore, you should send him your full Name and telephone number/your correct
mailing address where you want him to send the Draft to you.

Conatct:Mr. Jim Ovia immediately for your Cheque:
Person to Contact Mr. Jim Ovia
Email: jimoviazenithbankplc@lycos.com

Thanks and God bless you and your family.Hoping to hear from you as soon as you
cash your Bank Draft.

Making the world a better place

Regards,
Mr. Kofi Anan
Former Secretary (UNITED NATIONS).

CG Responds:

Wow! Kofi Annan e-mailing CrunchGear?!! Oh sorry, I spelled Annan wrong. I was going by the spelling on the news. Wow, I can’t believe you took the time to e-mail us personally. That, sir, is going the extra mile.

That is SO nice of you to look out for those of us who have been scammed. I don’t know which CrunchGear editor you’re talking about but I’ll assume it’s Matt because he has, by far, the worst luck out of all of us. Good ol’ Scammy Matt is what we call him. That’s his nickname, is what I’m trying to say. Sorry, I’m nervous. It’s just such an honor, sir. I’ll have Matt contact Jim Ovia. He’ll be happy to know that his getting-scammed days are over.

Hey, tell me something. How hot is Mirjana Mladineo in person? Be honest, dude.

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