• Apple iLaunch (humor)

    Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

    J. Michael Arrington (born March 13, 1970 in Huntington Beach, California) is a serial entrepreneur and the founder of TechCrunch, a blog covering startups and technology news. Arrington attended Claremont McKenna College (BA Economics, 1992) and Stanford Law School (JD, 1995) and practiced as a corporate and securities lawyer at two law firms: O’Melveny & Myers and Wilson Sonsini Goodrich... → Learn More

    In a jab at Apple CEO Steve Jobs’ ability to capture the world’s attention every time he announces a new product, the Onion reports the introduction of the new Apple iLaunch in an article titled “Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product.”

    The iLaunch is a product that will “revolutionize the process of unveiling new products throughout the world.”

    This is, of course, a joke. The Onion has a history of taking shots at hot companies just when the hype is going overboard. See, for example, their previous article on Google Purge, a non-existent product that will “destroy all copyrighted materials that cannot be searched by Google” and which noted Google’s “buildup of a vast army of laser-equipped robots.”

    The Onion says of iLaunch:

    Described in its patent filing as a “hype-generating mechanism with fully integrated Mac compatibility,” the iLaunch is powered by Intel dual-core processors optimized to calculate a product’s gravitas. Apple claims the iLaunch can garner the same amount of press attention as a major scientific discovery, high court ruling, celebrity meltdown, or natural disaster at 200 times the speed of a traditional media-fostered launch.

    Just go read the article…I love the last paragraph about the Microsoft clone, called Launch-O.

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