Don’t Do It, Adele!

It seems that Adele, an artist that I love nearly as much as Metallica — and that is my highest possible praise — will not stream her new album on Spotify. This has made me quite sad.

In honor of Adele, our Overlord of Sad and Grand Duke of How Did You Sing That, TechCrunch has adapted, poorly, a verse and chorus from her hit single ‘Hello’ for our own needs.

Yes, yes, yes, it isn’t great. But we were in the office, so here we are [Original lyrics via Genius]:

Hello, It’s me
I was wondering if after all these years
You’d like to not hear my new album
They say that time’s supposed to make you smarter
But I ain’t done much learning

Hello, can you hear me?
I’m not on Spotify where you hoped I’d be
When we were younger and free
I’ve forgotten how it felt to have the world fall at my feet
There such a difference between us
About a billion streams

Hello from the other side
I must have lost a trillion streams
But I’m not sorry, for everything that I’ve done
When I sit on the physical shelf you’re never home
Hello from the outside
Where you don’t really go, no
I tried to tell you I’m sorry for breaking your Apple Music
But it don’t matter, cuz you put on some other music

The album has already leaked. We are not going to link to that, of course, but here is a decent run-through of the tracks that it contains.

Please bring the new tunes to Spotify. Please.