Hey, how you doing? You’re really pretty in that dress and those shoes. Are those shoes new? No? Could have fooled me. Sit down a minute. I just want to look at you. Did you see that fight outside? Totally two guys hitting each other over some girl. Would you ever let guys fight over you? I would.
Do you know I paint? You should sit for me.
So there’s this new thing, MySecretLuxury.com. It’s totally legit. It was founded by Stacy Rybchin, a really foxy lady who is part of an e-commerce incubator. Smart is sexy. I know.
So they’ve got this site. Totally sexy. Totally angel backed. So Stacy, who I can totally introduce you to, built a subscription and concierge service for your lady parts. Totally sexy. The concierge service is totally cool. You set up these totally sexy experiences for each other. Like this one:
I know, right? You like books, right? I do, too. Totally read like a Mötley Crüe biography a few years ago. Totally read that book about Jenna Jameson. Anyway, that 50 shades thing is a book.
You also can sign up for special subscriptions that range from $500 to $5,000. That gets you toys like once a month. Totally sexy. Why sex toys? Why now?
Stacy totally told me about that in an email. “In the past three years (during a worldwide economic slump), sales of sex toys have reached an all-time high with manufacturers of ben-wah balls reporting a 300% increase in sales and manufactures and distributors of bondage tools reporting a 40% spike in sales,” she said. Recession is sexy. I know, right?
“These compelling numbers and proprietary research conducted by Denslow along with the obvious gap in the marketplace for luxury goods and a guide to help navigate the pleasure product market began the journey to develop MySecretLuxury.com, a site where people could expect high quality, sophisticated design and upscale products delivered with impeccable customer service.” So sexy. Totally.
Totally sexy, right? So can we get out of here? I can totally set you up with a 50 Shades box if you want. Really? Where, over there? Oh, cool. Totally. Can I have your number?
Yeah, totally understandable. I lost my phone, too. Later, beautiful. Later.