Hey Verizon, Whoever Made This Is Going To Hell

Verizon, Verizon, Verizon … So this is what you’re doing instead of going after the iPhone? You guys must think we’re so stupid.

You’ve based your latest mcgarrybowen-produced “Rule The Air! campaign around the concept of your product being gender, race and age-blind all the while trying your best to tear down Net Neutrality in order to offer tiered access to the Internet, for pure profit.

“Air has no prejudice, it does not carry the opinions of a man faster than those of a woman.”

So you’re not prejudiced against our opinions, but you’re totally cool with discriminating against our wireless data packets?

Also, you’re selling cellphone coverage, not tampons. Guess what? I, and I’m assuming other women, care about “facts” like pricing plans, and signal strength and yes, whether or not you’ll have iPhone availability in January.

On a related note: Never ever ever use the word infectious in conjunction with something you’re trying to sell to women. Ever.

And while you’re not the first ad campaign to include so many token minorities I feel like I’m watching clip art (but still, no fat chicks), do you really need to have the black girl say the “white” line and the white girl say the “black” line? Subtle.

“Air has no prejudice, it does not carry the opinions of a man faster than those of a woman, it does not filter out an idea, because I’m 16 not 30, Air is unaware if I’m black or white, and wouldn’t care if it knew.

So it stands to reason, my ideas will be powerful, if they are wise, infectious, if they are worthy, and if my thoughts have flawless delivery, I can lead the army that will follow.

Finally, what’s with the creepy “lead the army that will follow” part at the end? No, seriously.

Reader Moment of Zen: Count the number of women in the above commercial vs. the number women sitting on Verizon’s Leadership Team. Extra points for spotting a minority.