Republican Party discovers the scourge of Internet trolls on new Web site: 'Stop teaching about heliocentric universe, it contradicts the Bible'

Who let the trolls out? (They are trolls, right?)

There’s just no hope anymore. The GOP, one of the two great political parties in the United States, recently requested people submit ideas to be incorporated into the party’s platform this fall. A Web site was created. And then, predictably, people starting trolling the site. “A ‘teacher’ told my child in class that dolphins were mammals and not fish! And the same thing about whales! We need TRADITIONAL VALUES in all areas of education. If it swims in the water, it is a FISH. Period! End of Story.” Well, I’m assuming that’s a troll. You never can tell anymore.

The Web site censored obscenities, but didn’t make any attempt to filter out nonsensical ideas. How about this gem: “End Child Labor Laws. We coddle children too much. They need to spend their youth in the factories.”

Or maybe this: “Don’t let the illegals run out of Arizona and hide… I think that we should do something to identify them in case they try to come back over. Like maybe tattoo a big scarlet ‘I’ on their chests — for ‘illegal’!!!”

These are trolls, right? Surely no one is suggesting we end child labor laws?

My favorite part of the story is that congressmen are pointing to their number of Facebook friends as some sort of indicator of being “connected.” There’s nothing wrong with using Facebook or Twitter to keep in touch with your continuants, but please don’t think that makes you some sort of technology expert. I don’t expect Tom Brady to know how to play shortstop, and I don’t expect my congressman to know the difference between an @ and a d on Twitter.