CNN, Dalai Lama And The Obamas Jump On Anti-Handshake Bandwagon

Our crusade against the medieval practice of hand shaking continues to attract high profile supporters. The Boston Globe jumped on board in July, noting that Northeastern University asked graduates not to shake hands when receiving their diplomas. A german city stopped the practice among city officials in August. I’m still working on getting National Handshake Day changed to “National Barricade Yourself In Your House And Don’t Go Outside Day.”

Now, CNN jumps in with an article, saying “The H1N1 swine flu virus is putting our most familiar gesture of greeting — handshakes — at risk.” They note that “on June 3, 2008, then-Illinois Sen. Barack Obama tenderly fist bumped with his wife Michelle,” and “on September 22, 2009, the Dalai Lama was welcomed to Memphis, Tennessee, not with a handshake but with a fist bump from interim Memphis Mayor Myron Lowery.”

It’s the beginning of the end of the handshake, people. When the Dalai frickin Lama himself, the twelfth (thirteenth?) son of the Lama, joins your cause, you’re sure to get bumper stickers on all the tree hugger’s cars.

Free Tibet. And end the handshake.