The iPhone will have a glowing Apple

Artist’s rendition

Mea culpa. So I said the iPhone wouldn’t light up. It was too tacky. Who wants lights on an iPhone, right? Wrong. A tipster has seen the new matte iPhone and the bugger has a light-up Apple. That’s right: it lights the freak up. Who knew? What in the name of Soleil Moon-Frye is going on here?

Also, there will be a new bezel. President Obama should hold a press conference. This outrage will not stand.