Microsoft's oddly worded presser trumpeting record Xbox 360 sales


Breaking news: Microsoft sold a number of Xbox 360s in 2008. Good for Redmond.

Much more interesting, I think, than any “rah-rah-look-how-great-we-are” claptrap, is examining Microsoft’s press release, wherein it explains What’s What. (Hi-res version here.)

• “Tough economy.” The worldwide economy didn’t really collapse until Lehman Brothers failed in September. Spectacularly, I might add. So to preface all these numbers with, “well, it was a tough year for everyone” seems fishy to me.

• “Gaming industry.” Yes, the Wii sure did help pad the industry’s bottom line, didn’t it?

• “Lead over Sony PlayStation 3.” Oh come on now. The Xbox 360 was released a full year before the PlayStation 3, but the way Microsoft words it here you’d think it was doing its best David v. Goliath impression.

• “$1 billion.” That is, $1 billion in Microsoft Points (“space bucks” in derisive, online jargon). How many people in the audience are sitting on unused, unwanted Microsoft Points? All I wanted was Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix not leftover “currency.”

• “Broadest selection of hit games.” This is entirely subjective, but go ahead and slip that in there like it’s fact.

• “Doubling market share.” Microsoft has sold something like, what, 19 Xbox 360s in Japan? Doubling market share in this case probably isn’t all that hard.

• “Value.” This word truly means nothing. One man’s value is another man’s piece of junk.

• “Largest library.” This side of the Pirate Bay! /me Takes a bow

• “Busiest week ever.” Again, to be expected, seeing as though little Tommy is on Christmas vacation from elementary school and his older brother is in between semesters from university. A feather in Microsoft’s cap, for sure.

We’ll be playing this game from now on, so keep your eyes peeled.