Rollies: Training Wheels for Sneakers, or Something

Unless you’re a really, really hot lady, sporting around town on Rollerblades will make you look like a total, out-and-out douchebag. That is a fact here in 2007. But if you really want to crank your douchebagitude up a few notches, check out Rollies.

Instead of strapping your feet into ugly-futuristic-looking plastic skates, you strap these ugly-futuristic-looking plastic skates onto your shoes, and then apparently scoot off. They only work the heel of your mules, so they’re more akin to the shoes with the retractable wheels you see those annoying, rich 8 year-olds running around with in airports.

To make you look like even more of a dork, they light up as you skate, drawing more unwanted attention to your busted-ass sneakers and childish strap on skate. And all this for just over $70, a price any roller disco pimp can afford. So go for it, rockin’ roller derby guy, be Skateland’s final superfly. Roll again like in D&D.

Rollies [Product Page]