CrunchGear Week in Review: Christmas Sonnet

Game Systems, By Hook or By Crook
Philipp Goedicke

Want games that unused gift cards [1] cannot buy?
Since lotteries don’t work [2], give this a try:
This week impressed us with an old-school heist [3].
So go to Flippid [4] for a spy device [5],
A tiny camera [6], a cell-phone-scope [7],
A Gerber knife [8] in case you lose all hope.
A solar charger [9] might do you a favor.
For longer waits, an ashtray [10] and a shaver [11].
A TomTom map [12] to lay out all your plans.
Cab-tracking [13] helps head off delivery vans.
But all your best-laid plans you just might botch
If you fail to synchronize your watch [14].
Since risks of getting caught are rather great,
The best way to get games is simply: wait [15].

[1] Better Use That Best Buy Gift Card Soon
[2] Amazon Wii and PS3 Lottery Results
[3] Nerdy Felons Steal $190k in Microchips
[4] Flippid Matches Gear With Geeks, Free
[5] Spion Orbitor Electronic Listening Device for the Devious
[6] Secret Agent Man
[7] Release Your Inner Peeping Tom With A Cellphone Telescope
[8] Badassery: Gerber Hinderer Rescue Knife
[9] Solar Power in Her Purse
[10] Thank You For Smoking…At Your Desk
[11] Brando Adds Electric Shaver To Its List Of USB Products
[12] TomTom Releases New MapMaps
[13] NYC Cabs Getting TV and Location Tracking
[14] JLr7: For People l33t3r Than You
[15] Discount PS3s On The Horizon (If You’re OK with Refurbs)

Editor’s note: We at CrunchGear think our readers deserve something a little more than just a bland rundown of last week’s announcements, rumors, product launches and reviews. So on Monday mornings we’ve enlisted the help of Philipp Goedicke to write our recaps to complement Bryce Durbin’s illustrations. Fans of National Public Radio’s weekly news quiz show “Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me!” will recognize Philipp’s name as the writer of the show’s Limerick Challenge. He has a gift for rhymes that he’s agreed to use for evil to create a little tech poetry for your enjoyment. It’s new and different (just like good technology) and we hope you like it. For more on Mr. Goedicke, please check out his blog, Facetiae. –Josh Goldman