• Brett Ratner should be kicked in the balls for wanting to make a Guitar Hero movie

    The general public enjoys Guitar Hero, Brett. They don’t want you butchering another pop culture icon like you did with the last X-Men movie, douchebag. “I love ‘Guitar Hero’ and I think it’s a part of pop culture. I would love to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie, if Activision would ever let me. I’m trying to convince them, but why would you have a… Read More

  • Attention SLC: Paul Laurence Briggs loves him some child porn on his PMP

    Paul Laurence Briggs is not a smart man or even a man for that matter. This pervert who is a documented sex offender failed to register himself as such in, what I’m assuming is a new town for him, SLC, Utah, but that’s not the worst part. This dumbass left his PMP at a Denny’s where a customer found it and turned it over to the manager who, I’m assuming, took a quick… Read More

  • Genius jailed for trying to jack $500 HDTV with $3 barcode

    This trick never works, yet people still keep trying it. I’m sure when they come up with the cunning plan they’re very proud of themselves, but they always end up in the pokey in the end. Reginald Newman was at a Wal-Mart and found a 26-inch HDTV that he wanted. You and I, we’d check our bank account and see if we had enough to pay for it. But not crafty Reggie. No, he took… Read More

  • TV tech mistakenly airs porno

    Apparently I can’t say it enough, but if you’re a TV technician working in the TV studio that broadcasts TV to the public, you should probably be really careful when you put your porno tape in the VCR because you might be broadcasting your dirty video to every TV in the area. This is part of why I can’t wait for the switch to Digital TV next year, it’ll come through… Read More