9 of the most ridiculous pet gifts for your fur-loving friends

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9 of the most ridiculous pet gifts for your fur-loving friends

Welcome to the 2017 TechCrunch Holiday Gift Guide! We check out a lot of really cool stuff here at TechCrunch, so we figured we ought to put that experience to good use and help you get your holiday shopping done quickly. Need other ideas? You can find our full gift guide here.

We love our fur babies in Silicon Valley, and there’s plenty of tech to support them, feed them and keep them occupied while we’re away. We could give you a pet gift guide full of these tech gadgets, as we’ve done in the past. But some of what’s out there is just downright ridiculous… and because we all need a laugh, that’s our focus this year. Pets, after all, are the most fun to get ridiculous with.

So pull Pepper and Fifi close and check out the silliest of pet gifts for you and your friends this holiday season.

Tap that right arrow to start the gallery — or if you’re on mobile, just scroll.

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Pets After Rapture

Pretty sure you’ll be saved in the Rapture? But… who will look after your pet while you’re gone? Never fear, Pets After Rapture is at your service!

All you have to do is sign up and fill out the online form, then one of the carefully selected caretakers will be assigned to look after your fur friend when you go. All you have to do is pay $10 per month for the standard care package or $15 per month for the premium package and wait for the Rapture to come.

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Petsies

Love your pup so much you want to replicate them? No, you don’t need a science lab and wads of cash. Look no further than Petsies, the startup making stuffed animal copies of your dog, cat or anything else you might try to feed.

Is it weird to get a stuffed animal that looks exactly like your furball? Maybe, but who can ignore the joy you’ll give Fido each time he slobbers all over a toy version of himself?

Prices vary, but these plushies start around $200 and go up from there, depending on how realistic you want to get.

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Licki Brush

Why not lick your cat like a cat? With the Licki Brush, a special mouth brush that simulates the rough tongue of a cat, you can!

Cats groom each other (and if you let them, you) as a form of social bonding. The soft, silicone rubber Licki Brush helps you and your feline friend get closer than you ever thought possible in a very special way. If you are into that sort of thing.

The Licki Brush can even glow in the dark and is available for $25 online.

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BrilliantPad

This product was sent to me as a gift from Twitter. It smooshes your dog’s poop flat as a pancake and seals it up for you to throw away. Perfect for dogs who can’t get outside right when they really need to do their business.

Called the BrilliantPad, this “self-cleaning” poop contraption started out as a successful Indiegogo, raising more than $100,000 before going into production. You can now buy it online for $150 each.

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Hasbro Companion Pet

Can’t have a living, panting little fluff ball of your own? Hasbro has you covered with its life-like robotic dogs and cats.

Called Companion Pets, they are supposed to look, feel and sound just like the real thing. The kitties even vibrate as they purr to imitate a real feline.

The pictures show these creatures mostly with older folks who might be lonely, but you can get your own at CVS, Amazon or QVC if you happen to be watching at the right time.

It’s $120 for dogs and $100 for the cats.

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Cat Wine

Yes, this is a real thing you can buy for your cat. What started out as a weird Japanese wine for felines is now readily available in the states — and from a shockingly good handful of online sites.

Apollo Peak is one online shop we found out of Colorado that will sell you a nice pinot meow, Moscato and more for $11 per bottle.

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Tindog

It’s Tinder for dogs and the people who own them. No more wondering if your newly discovered crush likes dogs or if you need to swipe left. Connect and engage with pet lovers around you using this very silly app where you post pictures of your pet to entice the other person to find you more attractive.

You might also use it to see if you can just hang out with the dog and skip the person.

Find Tindog (sometimes also referred to as Twindog) on both Android and iPhone app stores.

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Alexa Meow! Skill

We’ve brought this one up in the past but it bears repeating. Pets get bored if left at home all day. Alexa’s Meow! skill lets them meow along in their own language for as long as you can stand. Every meow gets a response and can go on and on until you tell Alexa to stop. Find it in the Alexa skill store and download onto your Echo.

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Human-to-Cat Translator

Ever wanted to effectively communicate with your cat or know what your kitty is really saying? The Human-to-Cat translator app will attempt to translate it all for you.

The app, made by Electric French Fries, will listen to every purr, hiss and meow and tell you what’s going on inside that little fuzzy head.

Does it work? Of course not. But it’s free and you can totally prank someone with it while you’re waiting for dinner to be ready. Find it on the App Store here.

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