Surprisingly, even though TechCrunch is owned by not one but two enormous corporate entities — the Voltron form of which I like to call Verizaol — we are hit by very little splash from the stream of time-wasting marketing exercises that form a corporation’s very being. Recently, however, we were asked to come up with an internal tagline to explain what TechCrunch is to — I don’t know who actually but some people. Probably the ones with the money.
The exercise on the whole felt like making really serviceable burritos for people who aren’t really hungry they just want to see you making burritos.
To my eternal regret, I solicited feedback from our editorial staff. Something I rarely do in these cases because those who grab hot pokers should expect discomfort.
Anyway, here’s some choice options from our internal Convo thread. Enjoy.
Mint-green Gradient
TechCrunch: With TNW team
Making Gabe Proud
Free two-day delivery
New Star Wars
Tech Real Fast
Not Dead Yet
Distraction, Since 2005
Delivering Food, Faster
Om Nom Dotcom
TechCrunch: Serving above average croissants at Disrupt
The Green One
Please Click This
Tap That (mobile optimized)
Internet Website
Not A Cereal
It’s The Future
Wait, What?
Tomorrow’s Tech, Today
We Own This?
What Is It?
Tech, DMs Open
Poppin’ Hot Scoops
Thinkfluencers Growthhack Disruption
Gratuity Not Included
Investable Shower Thoughts
Slide Into Tech
Love That Joker