Snapchat’s Spectacles are already causing huge lineups and mild millennial frenzy in LA now that they’re on sale via super-exclusive Snapbot vending machines. It’s almost inevitable that Facebook copies this, too, so gird your nose bridge for Facebook Frames.
Here’s our exclusive (and very fake) early preview of their promo site copy, which unsurprisingly looks a lot like this one for Spectacles:
Frames only show you people you agree with
Facebook’s exclusive eyewear conveniently edits out the parts of the world that you’d find distasteful or unpleasant to look at. It’s rose-colored glasses but for whatever colors you prefer – and only those colors.
Press the button to hide a valid and factual but contrasting opinion
See something you don’t like? Press the button on Facebook Frames to make it go away. In its place, you’ll see a comfortable and comforting fiction.
Emoji display shows people what you think of them
You no longer have to worry about giving thought to or articulating your opinion of what people are saying to you. Facebook Frames will read your mood and display an appropriate Reaction emoji on your lenses.
Wirelessly add your Frame-ups to your Facebook profile page
Got the world looking exactly how you like it? You can share those creative interpretations of what you’re looking at directly to Facebook, where others like you can see it, too.
Frames are powered by sound waves created by echoes
Need to charge up your Frames? They actually charge ambiently as you wear them – converting the latent power present in sound waves from echoes off of surrounding surfaces into usable juice.
Again, Facebook Frames aren’t real so don’t go scouring Venice Beach for a blue vending machine. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they are a thing you can actually get some day, given Facebook’s product pipeline of late.