Microsoft’s new Surface keyboard has aesthetic and sensory qualities unlike anything you’ve ever experienced

Let’s get this out of the way: I really like the Microsoft Surface. But you know what I’ve always thought has been missing all this time? Keyboard covers that have “a blend of technology and style,” combining “Italian luxury, a Finnish minimalistic design aesthetic and durability that helps it improve with age, like a good leather jacket.”

"The intersection of fibers creates a very smooth, velvety experience"

“The intersection of fibers creates a very smooth, velvety experience”

Obviously, this is crucial, because, “The unique sensory and technical qualities of the material create a beautiful two-tone grey mélange effect, which is soft to the touch and ages beautifully, growing richer and darker over time.”

“It’s not just an accessory,” climaxes Ralf Groene, the Head of Design for Microsoft Devices in the product’s launch video.  “You live with it, and it lives with you.”

The keyboard covers are “meticulously crafted with a luxury material, sourced exclusively in Italy and used in high-end fashion, automotive and interiors,” and they’re exclusive, too: “Each Signature Type cover takes five weeks to produce,” a process that includes crimping, needle-punching and dying.

Pictures are worth a thousand words, as the saying goes. If we make a leap of assumption, there’s some accuracy in that it means the following 1-minute, 45-second video at 30 fps is another three-point-one million words’ worth of blowing smoke up its own arse:

And, with a price tag of $160, they’d better be pretty special, too.

Just when you think Microsoft has turned the ship around and are back to being a serious equipment manufacturer, they just have to go pull shit like this.

C’mon, Microsoft, you’re better than that.