MysteryVibe Crescendo Is A Snake-Like Buzzy Thinger For Your Down-There Parts

Stop reading now if you don’t want to hear about another super-cool flexible vibrator for the ladies. Go on. Try this post. It’s pretty innocuous.

Everyone that’s left okay¬†with a bit of the old fiddly diddly? Good.

So what happens when a bunch of friends from Deloitte decide they want to make a sex toy? I suppose they make this thing. It’s basically a bendy vibrator that can buzz in different configurations and at different positions along its length. Like a friendly inchworm, the MysteryVibe is usable in many different configurations – from the plain old upright “urgent message from a winded solider” to the U-shaped “super horseshoe” to everything in between (“the clever S” or “the lazy dilettante” come to mind).

“We wanted to solve a real pain point – the fact that as we get older, married, kids, work stress, the main thing that suffers is our sex lives. And it’s something that affected all of us universally. So we set out our company vision to applying the best in design and technology to enhance our sex lives and make it in a massively mainstream way,” said co-founder and CEO Soumyadip Rakshit. “We are creating enchanted objects – objects which merge with our lives and become an integral part of it. They enhance not hinder, add to our relationships and love lives, not act as replacements for them.”

0169b47268440dacc9b7148a71d66de5

The company is crowdfunding the project on Born.com, but I saw some early prototypes and came away impressed, as it were.

How is this thing different? First it connects directly to your cellphone for fine-grained control of the vibratory system. This means you can configure each of the six motors to buzz at different speeds and you can even program little ripples along the length of the Crescendo. It charges wirelessly and is quiet enough for discreet bedroom use. Most of the designers are women and they are all working hard on new versions of the Crescendo as well as products for couples and men.

I would like to note that, as I noted before, I’d like manufacturers to step up their guy game. While women receive specially articulated robo-snakes with 70¬†unique pleasure options, men still receive little more than a rubber glove full of vaseline. As an avid follower of the sex toy market (words I never thought I’d write) I feel that tools like the Crescendo are great and the things that make them unique should be available for the lads. End of rant.

Anyway, you can get your own for about $100 and enjoy many good futuristic snake vibrations.