Introducing CrunchCoin

Technology never sleeps. You need to pivot, expand, re-pivot, focus, unfocus, refocus and unrefocuspivot. With that, we are proud to announce TechCrunch’s greatest endeavor since our CrunchPad. Yes. A digital currency that will change consumer lives more than Netscape and Windows 3.1.

Introducing CrunchCoin.

Every new currency needs some sort of “buy-in” to drive adoption. While we think that CrunchCoin will take off on its own, we’re proud to announce that for all upcoming TechCrunch meetups and events, we will only accept payment in CrunchCoin. So if you had an eye on a demo table, sponsorship or ticket, head here to get started with CrunchCoin.

To demonstrate how seriously we are taking our CrunchCoin efforts, TechCrunch employees have unanimously decided to accept their salary payments only in blocs of CrunchCoin.

Furthermore, to emulate the startups we cover, and in some cases respect, CrunchCoin salary payments to TechCrunch employees will vest over a standard four-year period. The effect of this will be that quite a lot of CrunchCoin will be frozen on behalf of our staff and not sold, leading to rock-solid price stability. In other, unrelated news, our writers are all collectively looking for couches to crash on.

CrunchCoin can be purchased with Litecoin. Litecoin can be purchased with bitcoin. Bitcoin can be purchased with dollars. Sometimes.

As an extra security layer, purchased CrunchCoin will be unsalable for the first two weeks of your ownership. So make sure to convert your dollars to bitcoin and then to Litecoin to purchase CrunchCoin at least two weeks before you need a ticket to TechCrunch Disrupt NY.

You should probably have already gotten started.

We’ll be hosting a Reddit AMA session later on /r/Bitcoin. We are also in discussion with several leading bitcoin wallet providers to ensure that they remove the unsafe, unregulated bitcoin and replace it with lithe, delicious CrunchCoin.

Image Credit: Cap n’ Crunch