There used to be an old line, “Why is this on TechCrunch?” that lazy readers would toss with a tone like that of bored, obese potentates shooing away a particularly rancid piece of lamb proffered by a eunuch. Luckily, that’s mostly over now since we’ve just about saturated the front page with startup news and posts like this one, about one of the most amazing playpens you’re ever going to see, are hidden behind a click.
So this is the 4Moms Breeze. It is, in short, the future of playpens. If you don’t have kids, then you might as well stop reading but if you’ve ever tried to open a Pack And Play or similar playpen, you’ll understand this concept immediately. Most playpens are garbage. There is a central pivot that lets you open and close them but, in reality, this process is more like snapping the legs and arms of a Plastic Man while holding a soiled diaper and preventing the older kids from watching pay-per-view porn on the hotel TV.
This playpen, on the other hand, requires one firm push. One… firm… push. Read that again. Want to close it? Pull up. Pull… up. In a world where playpen manufacturers are allowed to create horrifically complex button, widget, and joint systems, this is a godsend.
We’ve talked about 4Moms quite a bit but I think this is their real breakout product. If you put this playpen next to any other at the store and said “Here, open and close this 4Moms Breeze and then narrowly avoid snipping off your fingers by trying to close this other one,” they would sell a million of these per day.
Why is this on TechCrunch? Because 4Moms is actually an engineering and robotics firm masquerading as a company that makes baby stuff. It’s a clever, clever ruse but these guys have taken something that is abysmally painful and made it fun and exciting. The Breeze, in short, is the coolest thing I’ve seen in months and it doesn’t even contain a motor.
The Breeze is coming to stores this August so I would suggest that you attempt to maintain a longer gestation time if you’re expecting because you’re going to want to put this on your baby registry. If you must give birth now, though, I would definitely recommend telling the in-laws to buy this for you as soon as they’re able. Even if you think you’ll never use it, the resale value and parental cool value are enormous.