Primary Coffee’s HotPad App Makes Your Overheating New iPad Useful

Is your new iPad as hot as a tabletop grill? Why not put it to use as a warming pad? Yeah, just navigate Safari to this little web app and the script takes care of the rest! The new iPad is truly a magical device. What will Apple think of next? A Siri-controlled RC car that can open a can of beer? Oh…yeah.

The web app just runs a processor-intensive script that tasks the CPU thus causing the iPad — or ordinary computer — to heat up. Don’t worry about the iPad; its Corning glass can handle the stress of a coffee cup. The additional heat could damage the battery and logic board, though.

Of course Primary Coffee isn’t suggesting that this is a practical use of the iPad. The company really just wants to its coffee. But it’s a known issue that the iPad gets hot — 116 degrees per Consumer Reports. A few degrees warmer, though, and it really could double as a hot plate.