Facebook Wants Your Unborn Child

Sometime in the past week, Facebook flipped the switch on allowing you to add your unborn baby to your list of family members via the “Expected: Child” option on Facebook profiles. Apparently too many parents were creating “illegal” fake profiles for their yet unhatched offspring — setting their fake babies’ ages to 13 instead of negative whatever, the minimum Facebook allows.

Also, I dare you to come up with a bolder customer acquisition strategy than getting them hooked while they’re still in the womb!

Of course this very important news caused an Internet earthquake, and as the aftershocks hit mainstream media CNN split its screen into four! boxes (below) so four women who are experts on the subject of declaring that you’re pregnant could talk about whether the social network had gone too far. Meanwhile America is technically fighting two wars.

But maybe expectant moms like care about this stuff, and stuff? I mean how would I know? My uterus is currently as barren as the T.S. Eliot poem. Hoping to shed some light on the subject, I asked resident TechCrunch pregnancy representative Sarah Lacy what she thought about the Facebook change, “I couldn’t care less about it. Anyone who is remotely close to me already knows I’m pregnant.”

That horse has already left the barn, indeed.