Airship! This Bulbous Craft Could Launch In 2013

Good morrow! Welcome to the world of the future! We present to the public a Miraculous and Orotund Airship for the conveyance of people, cattle, and cargo from All Points On the Earth To All Others! How does this Majestic Airboat Fly? Through the Miracle Of Helium, a Safe Gas that will bear aloft almost any Great Mass.

The Original Problem of many Airships was the maintenance of Bouyancy. As said ships burned Fuel, the ship would fall or rise in accordance to the Laws Of Gravity. Using a System called Control Of Static Heaviness, this Aircow can Fly and Rise Without Issue, coming to rest at any point on the Earth for passengers to disembark.

Created by a man of Slavik descent, one Igor Pasternak, the system pushes bouyant Helium into tubes when not necessary, thereby reducing the Weight that is pushed up into the Air. Using a Condesnor and some Tubes, the COSH Airhorse will allow Helium to increase and decrease as is Necessary to the Flight of the Craft.

Does this mean that You, Dear Reader, will ride on such a Craft before the year is Through? Don’t Bet On It, Friend, but instead thank the heavens that such a monstrosity does not scare your cattle and children as it Rises Over Your Hovel.

via Register