SnazzyNapper: Use It While Driving To Clear Out the Gene Pool!

Next Story

One Kings Lane: Q3 Sales Up 500 Percent; 'We're Not Afraid Of Gilt'

Where do YOU SnazzyNap? In the car? In the plane? In the fifth plane of Hell as Behomet disembowels you again and again, demon horde-birds tearing at your guts as a you re-heal and it happens all over again, for all eternity, your only respite the soft polyester fabric of the SnazzyNapper rubbing softly against your fire-scoured bones? Wherever YOU SnazzyNap, you’ll never have to worry about stray light again and the extra large version makes a great blanket!

My ultimate suggestion is to wear it while YOU drive (alone, of course, on an empty road near a ravine), thus reducing the chance you’ll breed, especially if you paid for one of these.

The SnazzyNapper, a distant cousin of the Snuggie, is the craziest thing I’ve seen in a few weeks. Basically it’s a reverse burqa for sleeping, allowing you to cover your face, leaving only your nose and mouth out for breathing. They cost $14.99 for the standard version and $24.99 for the blanket.

Seriously, if you wear one of these on a flight, you are totally getting crop-dusted. Also, in whose dictionary is this “snazzy?” Jazz hands are snazzy. This is just a rag you put on your face.

blog comments powered by Disqus