SnazzyNapper: Use It While Driving To Clear Out the Gene Pool!

Where do YOU SnazzyNap? In the car? In the plane? In the fifth plane of Hell as Behomet disembowels you again and again, demon horde-birds tearing at your guts as a you re-heal and it happens all over again, for all eternity, your only respite the soft polyester fabric of the SnazzyNapper rubbing softly against your fire-scoured bones? Wherever YOU SnazzyNap, you’ll never have to worry about stray light again and the extra large version makes a great blanket!

My ultimate suggestion is to wear it while YOU drive (alone, of course, on an empty road near a ravine), thus reducing the chance you’ll breed, especially if you paid for one of these.

The SnazzyNapper, a distant cousin of the Snuggie, is the craziest thing I’ve seen in a few weeks. Basically it’s a reverse burqa for sleeping, allowing you to cover your face, leaving only your nose and mouth out for breathing. They cost $14.99 for the standard version and $24.99 for the blanket.

Seriously, if you wear one of these on a flight, you are totally getting crop-dusted. Also, in whose dictionary is this “snazzy?” Jazz hands are snazzy. This is just a rag you put on your face.