Why haven't our clichés been updated to better reflect today's technology?

Our clichés need updating. “Axe to grind”? How many people still regularly use axes, axes that need grinding? Why not something like “hard drive to defrag”? “Best thing since sliced bread”? Why not “best thing since the iPad“? We are surrounded by technology, but our language still reflects life on the farm. Let’s do this!

First off, yes, this topic is completely ripped off from Fez Ron and Fez. If you going to rip off, you might as well rip off from the best.

It’s an interesting idea. So many idioms and clichés and whatnot are based in language that has no relevance to us here in the year 2010. Some examples:

• “Straw that broke the camel’s back.” Means nothing to the average person. Why not “baseclock frequency that causes the processor to overheat and continually crash”?

• “When pigs fly.” What? Try “when Spotify comes to America.”

• “Free as a bird.” Lame. I much prefer “free as Firefox.”

• “Money makes the world go ’round.” Sorry but as we all know “SEO makes the world go ’round.”

And so on.

If we’re not going to ban clichés outight, then we might as well update ’em. I don’t know how to grind an axe, but I do know how to defrag a hard drive.