How do you know when you’re a great athlete? Oh, I don’t know, maybe when the top-tier manager of the opposing team calls you a PlayStation! Like, you’re so good it’s almost as if someone goes into Konami’s Pro Evolution Soccer or EA Sports’ FIFA, creates a player, than gives said player 12 out of 10 in all the key stats: speed, attack, technical skill, etc. Leo Messi is like a PlayStation.
This is in reference to Messi’s performance last night against Arsenal, where he scored four goal—known as a poker in the sports press—of PlayStation-like skill. It was as if God himself was controlling the Argentine with a DualShock 3, and having him dance around Arsenal’s unfortunate defenders and march straight toward the goal.
Calling him a PlayStation, as Arsenal’s manager, Arsène Wenger did (skip to 0m30s in that video), is even a misnomer: I, for one, can’t play Pro Evo that well. Can the game even be played that well? Look at these “best of” compilations. None of these are as good as Messi was yesterday.
We’re witnessing greatness, friends, and I’m fairly shocked that we haven’t seen a major, non-sports American publication so much as profile him yet.