Poking fun at their more gilded competitors, group-buying site Groupon announced its launch of Groupöupon. As far as April Fool’s jokes go, the site is pretty convincing. It’s actually not far off from some of the pitches we see for elitist group buying startups. I was almost fooled, until I saw the umlaut (a bit much), and the fact that for each featured item, Groupöupon’s price is actually higher than the crossed-out original price.
The luxury private sale site features items such as sleeves made from “ostrich neck, baleen, pressed toucan beak, snakeskin (heated), and mane” ($6,500 for just a pair of sleeves, shirt not included), a Sleke watch that “eliminates the most cumbersome element of traditional watches—the face” ($14,500 for a right-hand model, $18,000 for a left-hand one), crowns ($68,000), and a money collage ($250,000).
Before you can join this exclusive buying gröup, you need to place your eye up to a “retinal scanner” on the site so that Groupöupon “can check your identity against our online database of confidential tax records.” Prospective members are also asked to supply documentation showing their net worth, along with any of the following proofs of status:
- Domestic organizational chart (must show a minimum of 20-40 servants)
- Audio recording of you properly annunciating the dictionary
- Photos with celebrities and public officials are encouraged (photos taken at book signings will not be considered)
- Fitting records for white tuxedos
- Silver-mine deeds
- Explanation of how carats are used differently when measuring diamonds vs. when measuring ivory
- Sex tapes
This one gets an A+.