Finally! An age prediction machine based on mosquito-like frequencies

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “IT’S ABOUT TIME!” I mean, where were you the first time you wished for a machine that could predict someone’s age range just by emitting a mosquito buzzing sound that only people in certain age ranges could hear, thus alerting you to that person’s true age? I was so young I can barely remember when I first wished this would become a reality. Now that it’s here, I can hardly believe it! All these emotions! It’s like falling in love, getting your heart broken, and going to a funeral of a coworker you never actually met but exchanged e-mails with a few times, all in a split second!

According to the product description that’s been translated from Japanese to English:

When you are ready, “Mosukitosaundo firing switch,” Let’s press. The other, “Keane … …” If you can hear the sound, it’s less that can be estimated. Without what the reverse reaction, the slide switch lowers one stage quietly.Just repeat this, tell the approximate age of the recipient. “Some Toshi?” “Appear to have?” Farce like I had enough.

Exactly.

From what I gather, there are only certain frequencies you should be able to hear as you get older. So you use this thing to emit high pitched sounds until whoever you’re dealing with can’t hear the sound any more. Then you’ll know that person’s general age range.

Yours for around $10 if you can figure out how to order it from this site. Or you could save your money by asking someone how old they are. Newlaunches.com suggests using it to determine the age of your blind date — because using this thing on a blind date wouldn’t be weird at all. If you manage to get a second date, hold on to that person forever.

Japanese Age Prediction Machine uses mosquito sounds to determine the age of your blind date [Newlaunches.com]