A bedtime story for network admins

“Mommy, will you tell me a bedtime story?”
“Of course. Once upon a time…”
“Wait, I want it to be about bandwidth hogs at a Microsoft event.”
“And can it have Bittorrent in it?”
“I guess so…”
“And someone gets Rickrolled at the end!”
“Of course they do. Now, as I was saying, once upon a time…