Darren Bent has quit Twitter! Alert the media!

Twitter: 2006-2010. No, the site isn’t shutting down, unfortunately, but it might as well be, for Sunderland striker Darren Bent has quit. Look, see! This is a terrible day for humanity.

Darren Bent, for the seven people around the world who don’t follow the Premier League, is an English footballer who currently plays for Sunderland, a team in the North-east of England. He was transferred from Tottenham, in London, to Sunderland last July. He was, until today, one of the most famous Twitter users in the world. Premiership footballer? Big deal, he has lots of Twitter followers.

Bent’s most famous use of Twitter was to tweet rage at Tottenham management for dragging their heels over his transfer to Sunderland. The Sun called it an “F- Word Rant,” but it must have worked: he’s now a Sunderland striker, and he’s not doing too bad, scoring 15 goals in 25 league appearances.

But that’s all in the past. Sunderland is in the heat of a relegation battle, currently in 13th place in the Premier League. So, in order to concentrate on ensuring his team stays up, he’s quit “the Twitter.”

He said, “People were writing stories in the papers about me from what I put on Twitter. There was a lot made of it. It became a distraction I didn’t need. I thought I would fully concentrate on the football.”

This is the most famous example of a person quitting Twitter. Miley Cyrus, Chris Brown, Tila Tequila (?), all of whom are celebrities, I guess, also famously quit Twitter. But let’s be honest: none of those people can compare to Mr. Darren Bent.