The only good thing about the deadline for this week’s TechCrunch round-up falling on Christmas Day is the absolute certain fact that you won’t be reading the results. After all, with the holiday season in full swing, no one in their right mind will be reading TechCrunch. I certainly won’t.
Safe in that knowledge, I can pretty much claim anything I like. That this week’s top story was Mark Zuckerberg being eaten by zebras, for example, or Al Qaeda investing in Twitter. Hell, I could probably claim that Spotify is profitable and it would still pass entirely without remark. Who would know? Just me and Google’s spider.
But I’m a professional – which is why I only missed my Christmas Day deadline by 24 hours – and as such I take seriously my responsibility to bring you this week’s top stories, regardless of whether you care or not. Hell, I’ve even come up with a festive theme in a vain attempt to keep you reading. Even though I know you’re not.
Here we go then…
On the first day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you….
One billion dollar exits
Sarah rounded off her South American research trip by profiling Wences Casares and examining the difference between billion dollar exits and what it means to feel “success”.
On the second day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Two out of every ten companies suffering from “stealth disease”
Vivek tells stealth start-ups: Get Over Yourselves: Nobody Cares About Your Secrets.
On the third day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Three years of Crunchies
The first tickets to the third annual Crunchies sold out very quickly, but there’s still plenty of time to vote for the winners across 18 categories before voting closes on January 6th.
On the fourth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Four screenings of Avatar
Or at least that’s how many Arrington has attended since the movie launched this week and he described it as ‘The iPhone Of Movies’.
On the fifth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Five hundred and fifty million dollars
Over half a billion dollars; the price that Yelp turned down when they walked away from selling to Google.
On the sixth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Six-ty thousand nooks will be shipped by Barnes & Noble this year
…despite issues with shipping pre-orders.
On the seventh day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Seven million more dollars raised by ChaCha
….despite issues with their entire business being a joke.
On the eighth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Eight million dollars raised by Livemocha
…in a round led by August Capital to allow the online language-learning community to build new partnership deals and work on product development.
On the ninth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Nine ‘rock-star’ names associated with WePay’s new group payments services
Levchin, McClure, Conway, Y Combinator…
On the tenth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Ten IPO Candidates for 2010
….and, from Europe, ten disappointing tech stories of 2009.
On the eleventh day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Eleven billion valuation for Facebook
Up from the company’s $10billion valuation earlier this year.
And finally. On the twelfth day of Christmas, TechCrunch gave to you…
Twelve (at least) religions that I’ve certainly offended by suggesting that the entire world stops for Christmas. I look forward to the comments. Not that I’ll be reading them – after all, it’s Christmas!
Have a good week!